I went real deep, like swimming in an ocean of the collective consciousness and was seeing all kinds of lights and colors and what looked like figures and I was told to open my eyes. This happened several times throughout the meditation where I would end up with my eyes closed for a while and again and again come back to this voice saying “open your eyes”. I touched on my greatest fears about meditation without intentionally heading in that direction.
I’m afraid that ill go in there and never be able to (or maybe just never want to) come back. I’m afraid that if I see all there is for me to see and all that there is for me to do that I will be unable to control it and that it could put me in danger.
I got in touch with great spirit and was comforted to know that all is happening in its own good time. Yes, we must be patient because the slowed pace is for the sake of all the others. While some of us may be beyond ready and willing to accept our assignments and see in true vision right now, there are too many others who would break into absolute pandemonium if things happened as suddenly as we might wish them to. We need to be easing into it. We need to be watching for the tiny windows of opportunity where people are evolving and stretching their consciousness just enough to let new thought in. That’s where we need to be open and tap into our spirit center and speak truthfully with them about what we feel and know to be true about the nature of this universe. Something IS happening.
I went even deeper from there and touched or was swallowed by the truth of my purpose here. I had my head covered like a nun or priestess and I could see myself serving others with the utmost strength and courage in the streets. People who were dying and suffering a thousand different dark nights of the soul. Racism and hate, illness and destitution, poverty, depression, slavery, rape, mental captivity, theft, war, abuse and abandonment. I watched myself as a strong and stoic old woman. But in the moment, here in the candle-lit darkness of my room, I wept a sea of tears and then rocked like a tiny boat on its ferocious waves.
I called out to God pleading for something I couldn’t quite name. ” I miss you. I want to go home”, I cried. Over and over until I felt myself wrapped up in something like giant arms, or a blanket, maybe wings. Now the rocking continued but the force behind it was not my own. I saw the tall shadow of the figure which I have come to know as angel michael as it passed over me with a radiant sense of concern and there he gathered around me with what felt like thousands of other souls. I wailed like a child and pressed the heels of my hands into the sockets of my eyes. My heart was like a prism through which all the worlds pain and suffering was passing and fracturing into multicolored shafts of light, somehow recycled. I hadn’t felt such grief and sorrow for a very long time.
God described how I had gotten better at not letting other peoples negativity glob on and weigh me down so much in waking life but that it doesn’t mean that I don’t need to take time to feel and then actively release the pain that it causes me every once in a while. A series of images then flashed of many teachers and healers and helpers who had such courage in the face of those they served but wept with reckless abandon in the privacy of their homes. The spirits said this process of feeling vulnerable and soothed and supported is very important and that this is much of what my meditation and yoga practice is about.
I saw God as a purple figure, it was a circle mostly but had a long thin shaft extending from the bottom. Much like the shape of a key hole, and therefore the ankh, now that I think of it. As I came towards the end of releasing my tears and all the pain, I felt the rocking subside and finish with a sort of pressure or squeezing sensation on my entire body. I became scared and begged, “Wait! Please.. Don’t go..” and felt what could only be described as a most patient and loving sigh from the other side. I was told “there is nowhere to go or be gone from, it is you who chooses to believe you are separate and therefore forget that you are always connected. Don’t you see? You are already and always ‘home’ as you call it. When you feel that longing you are longing for your true nature; which is everything and everyone you’ve ever loved, and its all right here for the taking. All you need to do is remind yourself repeatedly to be tapped into it.”
This, as always, will be easier said than done…but I guess it was nice to hear it from the source. I was made aware of my tendency to constantly be grasping and searching outside of myself for the answers to things or the experience I need in order to believe or understand the truth. The great spirit says that all the experiences we truly need are within us and they are more direct than looking elsewhere for the same things.
I was encouraged too about continuing to watch for day signs and dreams but that now they can have a lot more meaning than just a simple “hello.” Spirit needs our help in supporting this ongoing transition and we must accept guidance as we are given it. Meditation is very important for everyone now and any kind of physical meditation which can help to integrate mind, body, energy, and spirit especially in groups. We must encourage it and even facilitate it at every opportunity. Its not so much that something is going to or getting ready to happen, instead it IS HAPPENING and now its time to do our parts and follow our guidance in every moment.
We must also be willing to let go of our torturous concerns for those closest to us because we don’t have that level of control on their choice. Instead we have to focus on coming into our own multidimensional selves and inviting the general population and many strangers to join us. Our loved ones will join or not join but we can only do our own part and know that whatever happens is for the best.